#BarelyStrangersJournal

I once read in a climbing training guide that "peak performance needs a purpose." If that's true, then the accomplishments we feel in our body owe it to the mind or spirit, or both. Without the connection to one, the body remains a passive vessel. 

But when they are fused together - the body, the mind, and the human soul - the whole trinity of personal existence - the "I" - then much can be accomplished.

What can the body actually do without some level of spiritual transcendence or mental liberation? 

Of my many accomplishments that required physical endurance, resistance or acceptance of pain, and/or mental stamina & resolve fueled by some self-seeking spiritual conquest - none of them - no mountain peaks, no weeks of solitude, no burst of animal-primal power, and no matter how fast, how far, how long my body went, compares to the euphoria and power I felt in my body when and during the process of fully accepting and embodying my identity as gender non-binary/genderqueer/gender fluid. 

After years of intellectually rejecting the gender binary construct, defined by mainstream culture, even in freedom/liberty - Western "democracies", if it wasn't until I could look myself in a mirror, and not look away, and understand that it was in fact my identity, too. 

Since living a fully gender-fluid life, I have experienced so much more. More confidence, freedom of expression, more deep acceptance, more soulful connections and conversations, more changes of what to wear, how to live, how to dance, and how to thrive. 

And yet I still have so much to learn. 

What more strength can be found than wearing a dress and a beard at the same time?

Schröckhof Alm, Austria

'Epilepsy, Injuries, and Living Your Best Life'

Hours before the tonic-clonic seizure, you get so confused that realizing you're confused is too much to ask. Dependence on others is the only way to prevent broken jaws, knocked-out teeth, cracked ribs, and black eyes. Waking up from the seizure is a blank state. I don't know my own name, don't recognize the person watching over me (even if it's my own mother), or where I am. It's comparable to a newborn baby, or like a thorough computer reboot. Not knowing what I'm saying or doing, the craziest thing I supposedly ever said was: 

ME: "How long was the seizure?"

FRIEND: "2 minutes."

ME: "That's so strange, cause where I just came from, it was 600 years."

I say this is the base for a good fantasy novel.

Living with this unpredictable "reboot" once,twice, three times a month changes everything. Epilepsy sucks!!! But arranging all the many components around it produced what I had considered impossible:

Living my best life yet! - Becoming a digital nomad, caring for cattle in the remote mountains of the alps, winters on literally the other side of the world, Hawaii, while still caring for my beloved horses. Refusing for epilepsy to cause financial dependence, but finally allowing myself to open up and put my life in others' hands for 2 mins (or 600 years) every other week. 

The bottom line: Acceptance without stopping to push forward. Love and kindness of others. 

Schröckhof Alm, Austria

Before this summer, I had never left my hometown for an extended period of time. I had travelled, but never really got to learn what life was truly like outside of my 7,000 person home. I've been living in Yellowstone for four months now, and it has been life changing. I have learned more about the world, others, and myself - more than I could've in my place of comfort in Virginia. Travel much, discover yourself, and explore as much as you can. I promise the risk will be worth it.

From Strasburg, VA

written in Yellowstone, WY, USA

I woke up to all darkness and that's a luxury after the sun is up. So is sleeping without any socks on, I've learned. Simple pleasures. I also woke up to a text that read "you're going to love this..." and I love being thought of in this way. Mind you, it was sent at 2am my time which is 3am their time. I'm still waiting for them to wake up and tell me what 'I'm going to love. Yet, I am starting to tell myself what I love every day. I'm not waiting, my day has started and I know it will be nearly perfect like every other day. (Or what has been these past 25 days.) I love the quote: 

"I promise you, if you look for everything beautiful in this world, you will eventually become it." - ???

And now I'm living it to the fullest. Like my first word had been "wow" and I can't stop using it. It doesn't lose its weight. Awesome can be overdone. Pretty. Beautiful. Lovely. But wow? That's involuntary. To see the wonders of this world. To be the wonder of this world. 

Wow. 

Be blessed.

From Austin, TX

Anaconda, MT, USA

As I sit here and write - day, approaching night, content & dazzled as sky brings light... be sure... be strong... be firm... & more along, You are a wonder of wonders this day. You are greatness inspired by play... Together we bring as the space & time sing... We all are here for each and every day. So make yourself known, to the one you see today. Whether by greeting, blessing, gifting or play. They will appreciate you. As I, forever, do. Keep warmth alive... & with one another, we thrive.

From San Francisco, CA

Glacier National Park, MT, USA